Becoming aware of a habit or a response to an unwanted scenario is the first step toward change. This step is the acknowledgement phase, where you recognize a repeated pattern that gives you a less than satisfactory, or temporary satisfactory, result. Those habits that offer an immediate endorphin hit, like a sweet treat or recreational drug use, but over the long-term act only as a plaster to underlying personal dissatisfaction. A reminder, after the acknowledgement phase, every repeated cycle is a choice.
This is an invitation to go a little deeper to examine the cause of the stress, especially when it is a situation that you have encountered before; Ask why the situation is repeating. A reminder that the Universe will give you opportunities to react differently, especially when you are asking for and in the process of, change. If you ask for patience, you will receive more scenarios in which to practice patience; That usually means frustrating scenarios.
If you are experiencing increased infuriation with another person, especially when it feels out of your control, acceptance may be what is missing. Acceptance is the second phase. When you are doing your best, but it feels like it isn’t enough, or that you are not getting any reprieve from the intensity of negative emotions, you are being asked to accept the circumstance as it is.
Accepting that you cannot change another’s behavior immediately gives relief. That frustration you feel is really resistance to what is. When you accept what is, you release some of the tension and allow yourself to open to other resolutions. The resistance is showing you that in your attempt to control the outcome, you instead generated a cycle of frustration without any chance of resolution.
Allowance, the third phase, is in fact surrender, not in the sense of ‘giving up’, but as a true release of what is out of your control. It is a chance to allow the Universe to show you why the situation kept repeating, for you to learn the lesson it was trying to teach, and for the true resolution to present itself. The impact? Genuine peace and an end to suffering.
Instead of forcing the outcome you think should occur, allow the Universe to guide you toward bigger aspirations and more appropriate outcomes. Our human minds are simply not capable to knowing what is best for us. Of course, we think we do but we are actually stopping the flow of unknown and incredible possibilities from manifesting. The longer we attempt to force our outcome on a situation, the longer we stay in the frustration and stress of the repeated pattern.
Many of us have lived our lives not aware that we have the choice to respond differently. That’s why approaching life with curiosity, instead of fear, is important. Every situation is inherently neutral, it is our response to it that defines it as negative or positive. Remaining curious about the positive effect will give you a positive outcome. It is up to you determine how much time you spend in states of aggravation.
The three A’s: Acknowledgement, Acceptance, and Allowance is a great tool to use to stop negative repeated patterns.
Acknowledge where you are, what you are holding on to that no longer serves, and what you are feeling.
Accept situations as they are, especially when it is something you don’t prefer, while surrendering resistance to the outcome.
Allow the Universe to supply alternate outcomes and clarity; And allow yourself a resolution, whether successful or not. Allow yourself closure.
As always courage is required, and so is radical self-honesty. You may or may not perfect this on the first attempt, however you won’t know if it works unless you try. Each time you do, it becomes easier, to the point of automation, alleviating stress from your life. What habit or cycle do you want to change?
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